I’m Just Not Sexual

Myth #4 in the series 5 Myths Women Believe About Sex is: I’m Just Not Sexual.

Some women feel very little, if any, energy for sexual connection. Low libido does not make you non-sexual. You are a sexual being by creation. If you have a low sex drive, there are many possibilities:

1. First, low sex drive compared to what? Your husbands? Almost 30% of women think they have a lower sex drive than other women. The truth is we just think about it less often.

Men and women are made differently. We each have a hypothalamus, located deep in the center of the brain which monitors many activities such as hunger, thirst, sex, and sleep. The pre-optic area of the hypothalamus, which is the area of the brain most involved in sexual and mating behaviors, is 2.2 times larger in men than women and has twice as many cells. Also, men have over ten times the amount of testosterone as women.

So, as God designed our brains, men are made to think about sex more often and be more visually stimulated, but a woman’s drive can be equally strong, though different.

2. Exhaustion, poor body image, resentment, distrust, discomfort due to early messages or experiences, past abuse (shut the door), pain, depression can also contribute to the feeling sexually depleted. The help of a qualified therapist can be vitally important to helping you overcome these hindrances to your enjoyment. Low libido can also be medically induced by certain medications, diabetes, thyroid disease, etc. which is why it is advisable to see a doctor if it is persistent.

3. Sexual inactivity can also cause low libido. The more you do it, the more you desire it. Think about this analogy: If you give someone a gift and they don’t open it, or if they do, they don’t use it very much, how do you feel? Think of your sexual relationship as God’s gift to you. How might He feel if his gift were left unopened or seldom used? We’re often content to look at the wrapping paper. You are sexual and in order to unwrap the gift God has given you and enjoy, you’ll need to deal with whatever issues are contributing to the low libido.

Sex is not an afterthought. God didn’t say, “I’ve got to make a way for them to procreate so guess they’ll have to do this yucky thing.” No, sex is deeply wired in you. One whole book of bible, Song of Solomon, is an erotic dialogue between a man and his bride. Sex is beautiful and He wants you to enjoy his gift and enjoy it freely.

Love to hear your thoughts about Myth #4! Please comment below.
Stay tuned for Myth #5!

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