Let It Go
When we are hurt, it is natural to want to protect ourselves from further pain. When our mate wounds us, we think they owe us something. An apology would be nice—a guarantee or promise never to do it again even nicer. We withhold forgiveness until they have...
Own Your Stuff
Nobody likes to be wrong. Being right feels a lot better. As children, doing the right thing usually got us approval and praise, or at least helped us avoid criticism for doing something bad. We came to equate being wrong with punishment or the withdrawal of a...
Move Toward Center
All strong, enduring marriages have a hearty amount of compromise. To some, however, compromise seems like the slippery slope to losing oneself. It feels like a capitulation that diminishes individuality and freedom of choice. When a couple marries later and has...
Stimulate Your Bonding Hormone
Respected family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Research consistently affirms the value of touch in the life of a growing child. Touch...
Take an “Instant Vacation”
Laughter has a way of relieving stress and reminding us to enjoy our mate. Famed comedian Bob Hope said laughter is an “instant vacation.” It relaxes us and reminds us that there’s joy even in the mundane moments of life. A steady diet of humor will go a long way toward giving your relationship the elasticity it needs for the two of you to stay connected, even in the midst of challenges.