Earlier in your relationship, your husband may have hurt you in some way. Perhaps he failed to be there for you when you needed him. Perhaps he betrayed you in some way that wounded you to your core. Whatever the hurt, it may be helpful to process through your feelings with a wise mentor, friend, savvy pastor or therapist.

Some confrontation is necessary. You both have ways that are hurtful to each other and a good marriage allows for the voicing of those concerns. Learning to approach your mate gently increases the possibility of a productive outcome.

We often make assumptions about our husband’s behavior. We take what they do personally or attach meanings that may have nothing to do with what they did or thought. We can also be very confident in our assumptions. We take pride in knowing what our husband’s real motives are. We actually believe we can mind-read, and any explanation on their part is less credible than our knowing.

When men feel criticized, and sense our disappointment or disapproval, it goes straight to the core of their being. They deeply long to be enough for us, to be adequate for our needs. They feel respected when they feel they’ve done a good job.