Whether you or your mate brings up an issue, how useful a conversation will be to the health of your marriage can be determined within the first five seconds of engagement. A harsh start up will likely go south. If you approach your mate with a soft, calm, appreciative tone, the possibility of having a beneficial conversation is significantly improved. Check out these guidelines for engaging your mate in a productive way.

Have you ever found yourself reacting so strongly you even surprised yourself? What might your own reactivity have to teach you? Truth is, if we stop and pay attention, if we let ourselves get curious about our reactions, we can learn to manage our conflict with our mate in a much more self-aware way. Here’s a few steps you can take to identify what’s going on inside you.

We come to marriage with expectations- ideas about how our mate will be, how they will treat us, what married life will be like. Inevitably, we will experience some disappointment. What do we when we are disappointed? Here are a few tips on how can you deal with your disappointment and enjoy a growing marriage.

When you got married, you likely thought the ways in which your spouse was different from you were attractive, interesting or endearing. Enter marriage and many of those difference can become annoying, irritating and downright painful. Here’s a few thoughts that will help you embrace your differences and make them work for you and your marriage!

Do you ever find yourself saying and doing things in the heat of conflict that you regret? It can be super helpful to determine, in advance, what the “rules of engagement” will be for you as a couple—what are the guiding principles you will always strive to live by when it comes to conflict. No matter what, you won’t cross these lines. Here are a few ideas to help guide you as you consider your “No matter what’s.”

Do you sometimes assume you know why your mate is doing something or what they’re thinking? We often jump to negative conclusions and we take quite a bit of pride in the accuracy of our conclusions. When we consistently misread our mate’s intentions or thoughts, it creates frustration, hopelessness and rebellion in our partner. It also makes it impossible to resolve anything constructively. Here are a few tips to help you avoid assuming.