This week’s tip is this:
Respect is huge for guys. Studies show it’s bigger than even feeling loved. Just as he desires to be esteemed in his work setting, so your husband longs to be a competent husband. Any show of disrespect, causes him to feel put down and inadequate. When you ignore, discount, compare, correct, ridicule or demean your husband, he is hurt to the core. If he is angry or reactive, nine times out of ten, it’s likely due to feeling some level of disrespect.
In small ways, every day, we communicate whether we respect our husband or not. Do you build him up when speaking to others or tear him down? Are you responsive when he talks to you or do you tune him out? Do you contradict him in front of the kids or lovingly support him in their presence and discuss your concern later in private? Are you dismissive of his input, or do you welcome his viewpoint?
We have this notion that people, including our husband, have to earn our respect. The Bible (Ephesians 5:33) says something very interesting about respect. It says respect is unilateral. Our husband doesn’t have to earn it, just as we don’t have to earn love from him. Respect isn’t contingent on his good behavior. It is contingent on the fact that he is human and our husband. We give it without conditions, just as we hope he would give us love without conditions.
Think of two ways you could be more respectful of your husband. You might also ask your husband if there’s anything you do or say that he experiences as disrespect. Then, commit yourself to being more respectful over the next two weeks and see how it impacts your relationship.
Check back next week for the next of the 10 Tips to Loving an Imperfect Husband!