Nobody likes to be wrong. Being right feels a lot better. As children, doing the right thing usually got us approval and praise, or at least helped us avoid criticism for doing something bad. We came to equate being wrong with punishment or the withdrawal of a parent’s affections. To avoid this, we learned how to defend ourselves and justify our behavior. We all make…

All strong, enduring marriages have a hearty amount of compromise. To some, however, compromise seems like the slippery slope to losing oneself. It feels like a capitulation that diminishes individuality and freedom of choice. When a couple marries later and has established their own ways of doing things, compromise can feel like an unwanted sacrifice. In reality, compromise is necessary if a couple is ever…

Respected family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Research consistently affirms the value of touch in the life of a growing child. Touch communicates that the child is valued, wanted, safe, and loved. The same is true for adults. We never outgrow…

Laughter has a way of relieving stress and reminding us to enjoy our mate. Famed comedian Bob Hope said laughter is an “instant vacation.” It relaxes us and reminds us that there’s joy even in the mundane moments of life. A steady diet of humor will go a long way toward giving your relationship the elasticity it needs for the two of you to stay connected, even in the midst of challenges.

You’ve probably heard that “opposites attract.” It’s true that we usually marry people who are different from us. We look for mates who complement us because they have something we don’t, and vice versa. Therefore, couples usually have different interests. Finding and nurturing one you can share will do wonders to boost your connection.

Kyle’s schedule requires him to leave the house at 6:45 a.m. Stacey doesn’t leave till 7:15. Stacey is usually in the shower when James leaves for work. They have fallen into the habit of not connecting in the morning. They go about their day focused on their own concerns. When James returns from work, Amy is home but preoccupied. When she hears him walk in, she hopes he will come and find her, but he typically sits in the kitchen reading the paper until she comes out. When she does come into the kitchen, Kyle gives Stacey an obligatory peck on the cheek before returning to his reading.