You’ve probably heard that “opposites attract.” It’s true that we usually marry people who are different from us. We look for mates who complement us because they have something we don’t, and vice versa. Therefore, couples usually have different interests. Finding and nurturing one you can share will do wonders to boost your connection.

Kyle’s schedule requires him to leave the house at 6:45 a.m. Stacey doesn’t leave till 7:15. Stacey is usually in the shower when James leaves for work. They have fallen into the habit of not connecting in the morning. They go about their day focused on their own concerns. When James returns from work, Amy is home but preoccupied. When she hears him walk in, she hopes he will come and find her, but he typically sits in the kitchen reading the paper until she comes out. When she does come into the kitchen, Kyle gives Stacey an obligatory peck on the cheek before returning to his reading.

What sets a healthy, thriving marriage apart from one that drifts into difficulty? Intentionality. Happy marriages don’t just happen because of chemistry. They happen because of habits that keep a couple connecting through all the ups and downs of married life. These habits or practices involve the continual investment of time, interest, and energy. They provide the glue of the marriage. When challenges hit, these habits create the resilience that enables the marital friendship to remain intact. Over the next nine weeks I’ll be sharing practices that will ignite your marriage and keep it burning.