If sex is just a physical act, one might deduce that it can be experienced with anyone regardless of relationship or context. This is a common message of our culture. Our culture has separated sex as a stand-alone experience void of any need for emotional closeness or commitment. “Friends with benefits” suggests you can simply be a friend and offer sex for the mere physical satisfaction. The act itself means nothing.
Sex is so much more! Sex is about intimacy.
At its core, intimacy means being deeply known and loved as well as deeply knowing and loving the other. It is about closeness and connection. Real intimacy makes us feel alive because someone has taken great care to look into the depths of our soul and see us for who we truly are and love what they see.
Intimacy is far more than sex, but it is also sex. Sex was created by God to be a physical expression of the emotional and spiritual oneness of the couple, and the deepest form of intimate communication. Here we can bring our vulnerability, our bodies, our complete selves and offer them as gift to the other.
Not only that, but God has so designed our bodies that when we have sex, when we experience orgasm, a hormone is released called oxytocin. Oxytocin is known as the “loyal, bonding hormone” as it connects us at a deep, physiological and emotional level to the person we are engaged with at the time. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter is also released which gives us a sense of pleasure. (That is why pornography is so dangerous- there is actually a connection that takes place in the brain of the viewer to the image, and the good feelings God intended to occur between a man and his wife, are hijacked such that he becomes attached to the experience of masturbating to an image.) God intended for sex to knit us to our mate at every level- not only physically, but emotionally as a bonding experience, and spiritually.
The Bible tells us that sex is sacred. It is a beautiful union God designed to bring us pleasure and him glory. He delights in our pleasure. He even says our physical union is like the union of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32). There is a spiritual dimension to our sexual experience. It touches the very core of our identity. We suffer from low view of sex!
So, sex is not just a physical act. It is a oneness we were made to crave: “the two shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24) This oneness can only be enjoyed in the context of committed relationship because it is here that one’s physical, emotional and spiritual lives can be joined. It’s a total package.
Love to hear your comments about Myth #2!
Stay tuned for Myth #3!