After Tips #1-8 in the 10 Tips to Loving an Imperfect Husband series, Tip #9 is…
Let go of past hurts.
Earlier in your relationship, your husband may have hurt you in some way. Perhaps he failed to be there for you when you needed him. Perhaps he betrayed you in some way that wounded you to your core. Whatever the hurt, it may be helpful to process through your feelings with a wise mentor, friend, savvy pastor or therapist. Once you have gained clarity, confronting your husband, as mentioned in the previous post is important.
Holding on to our hurts can narrow our focus. We can become over-focused on our husband’s faults and under-focused on our own. If we’re honest, we have to admit that we may not be so easy to live with either!
Sometimes, you may hold onto your wounds and hurts as if they are your only source of comfort. You hang on to protect yourself and remind yourself to keep your guard up. You may fear letting go–fear you will be vulnerable to further hurt.
Loving is risky. To move forward, you will need to face your fear of future hurt and risk letting your husband into your circle of trust. No human is fully trustworthy in the sense that they will never fail or hurt you. We all “stumble in many ways” as the Bible reminds us (James 3:2). There are no guarantees you won’t be hurt in the future, but you won’t enjoy the potential of growing love in your relationship if you don’t forgive your imperfectly loving husband. It may help to know that there is One on whom you can depend to love you when others fail you, who is fully trustworthy!
“I (God) have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
Next week’s post will conclude our 10 Tips to Loving an Imperfect Husband series! Don’t miss it!