To view Tips #1-4 in our 10 Tips to Loving an Imperfect Husband series, click here.
Tip #5 is:
Acknowledge and enjoy his sexual interest.
Your husband likely has a stronger sexual drive than you. That’s because he is made that way! The part of his brain that involves sexual stimulation is 2.5 times larger than yours.
Because we women have brains that allow us to multi-task more effectively, we tend to have difficulty setting aside our other responsibilities to focus on sexual engagement. We can even come to see our husband’s sexual interest as a nuisance or flaw. One young mom told me, “Sex feels like a duty to me. I just have to add it to my already full list.”
Instead of viewing our husband’s sexual interest as another demand or drain on our energy, we can embrace his interest as part of how he is made. We can, then, appreciate that his invitation may be just what we need to draw us away from the more dutiful parts of our life and enjoy connection with him.
Oxytocin is the loyal-bonding hormone. Women have ten times as much oxytocin as men. It’s what surges in our bodies when we have a baby that helps us attach and nurture. There is only one time that men’s levels of oxytocin reach that of a woman. Yup, you guessed it–right after having sex. Men report feeling most emotionally connected to their wives following their sexual intimacy. Guys have a hormonal motivation to stay emotionally connected to their wives!
As women, we long to have deeper emotional intimacy with our husband. Sexual connection is very tied to emotional connection for our husbands. Savvy wives will come to understand this. Rather than treat his sexual interest with indifference or annoyance, you can embrace his design and make an effort to reign in your multi-tasking brain and be present for mutual enjoyment with your husband.
Continue with us next week for more of 10 Tips to Loving an Imperfect Husband!