Marriage Myth #3: Marriage should not require you to give up your individual freedom and autonomy.

Marriage Myth #3: Marriage should not require you to give up your individual freedom and autonomy.

We live in a culture that highly prizes autonomy, personal fulfillment and individual freedom. Most people like to keep their options open and resist if choice is restricted in any way. The American Dream is one that inspires people to achieve their potential and imagine what can be, unrestrained by their circumstances. Self-determination is seen as a core right of every human life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is after all, the American promise.

Marriage Myth #2: If my mate loved me, he/she would just know what I need.

Marriage Myth #2: If my mate loved me, he/she would just know what I need.

Every person longs to be loved unconditionally and to matter. These two longings drive almost every belief and conversation in marriage. We long for our mate to know us intimately and to desire to move toward us in a way that is deeply affirming and satisfying. We know at our core that we have parts to ourselves that are not so lovely, but we crave the kind of love that can know us thoroughly and remain steady. To be unconditionally loved is the core longing of our created being.