When our mate wounds us, we can be tempted to think they owe us something. An apology would be nice and a guarantee to never do it again even would be even better. When we are hurt, it is natural to want to protect ourselves from further pain. We tend to withhold forgiveness until we feel that the other person has sufficiently paid for their offense. We self protect by keeping our barriers up in order to avoid future hurt.
Withholding forgiveness suggests that we are blind to our own imperfections and hurtful ways. On the contrary, when we see our faults clearly, we have a better vantage point to see our mate’s flaws. When we show a willingness to extend forgiveness, our spouse will likely be more forthright about their responsibility in hurting us.
How do we go about forgiving our mate in a way that releases them from debt and paves the way for restoring the relationship?read more
Being right feels a lot better than being wrong. We all like to be right! Growing up, we probably learned to equate being wrong with punishment or receiving less of a parent’s affection. As a defense mechanism, we all learn how to defend ourselves and justify our behavior.
The fact is, we all make mistakes. Learning how to apologize well is a powerful tool that can restore a marriage. Find out the ingredients of an effective, heartfelt apology.read more
For some, compromise seems like the slippery slope to losing one’s voice. It feels like a way of diminishing individuality and freedom of choice. But the truth is, all strong, long lasting marriages have a hearty amount of compromise.
If a couple is ever to enjoy true intimacy, some form of compromise is vital! In every good marriage, each spouse needs to learn to bend, and sometimes give up his or her own desires for the sake of marital growth. How can you begin to effectively work toward a mutually satisfying compromise?
Touch has a unique way of bringing us comfort. an arm around us when we’re afraid, or a hand on our knee that tells us the other is there for us, assures us of the caring presence of another.
Physical touch has physiological benefits such as lowering our blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels and thereby reducing stress.
In marriage, we have the enjoyable privileged of giving touch to our mate. Forms of physical touch like holding hands, kissing, and hugging, all communicate to your spouse that they are important, loved and cared for.
Laughter has a way of relieving stress and reminding us to enjoy our mate. It relaxes us and reminds us that there’s joy even in the mundane moments of life. Humor will help you stay connected, even in the midst of challenges. When was the last time you had a good laugh with your spouse? Stress can cause us to lose our sense of humor, and with it our resiliency as a couple.read more
We usually find it to be true that we marry people who are different from us. Therefore, couples usually have different interests. Finding and growing a shared interest will do wonders to boost your connection!read more
Transforming hearts ... one life at a time